Friday, 28 May 2010

• Friday Foolishness: The Cuss Out Heard ‘Round the World

  I went to my daughter’s “Honors Day” program. My child has made either teacher’s honor roll or principal’s list every 9 weeks. She has never made a “C” and rarely brings a “B” home.

  She was dressed  in a pretty flower dress, her hair was freshly done. She was ready to go. I get to the program and I didn’t even have time to sit down. The program was 15 minutes long. Why you ask?

  Because apparently students had to either have principal’s list every 9 weeks or honor roll, but not a combination of the two. Yes, you heard me right. My daughter who has had principal’s list twice and Honor role twice was not honored in the honor’s assembly because she was intermittently good and great.

  Her teacher told me and several other obviously upset parents that the office made the decision.
  So I joined the gang of near rioting parents that stormed the office where the same information was repeated. I jostle my way to the front and ask her: “Well in order to have principal’s list you would have had to meet the standard for teacher’s honor roll, correct?” She nods her head in agreement. So I said “Technically, that student made honor roll and Principals list, right?”

  She says “No you cant do both that’s the schools rule.” As I am gearing up to go off in a professional nice nasty way of Epic proportions I hear the following:
  

  “That is some gotdayum bullshyt! This is the LAST Muthaf!ckin year my baby is going to go to this school. Now she comes in here every day and does what the hell she is supposed to and you mean to tell me she can’t walk up on stage to get her award over some bullshyt like this? This is some racist bullshyt you white devil biatch. I done took off work for this and you done f!cked up my day. But you know what you devil biatch muthaf!cka? I hope you have a nice one”.

  It was extremely quiet as the angry parent turned on her 6 inch silver stiletto heels and clicked out of the office.

  *insert flavor flav wowwwww*

  There was really nothing left to say. She took all the clown and used it herself. There was no mo’ clown left. The “go off” I had planned now paled in comparison. I was almost mad that she stole my thunder in such a ghetto, hood manner but that was probably the best cuss out I have witnessed in a long time. I mean that was EPIC. And the ending? GAWD. I wish I could have said it myself.

  I am going to find a time and a place perfect for its usage.

  • 5:19 PM
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