Tuesday, 18 May 2010

• Who’s Cousin Is This?

  
  

  Parents, hug your kids

  *blinks twice*

  *sighs*

  Who’s ratchet ol’ cousin is this?!? I saw this picture and wanted to go kick every trashcan in a 5-mile radius. There’s sooo much tomfoolery in this picture that I don’t even know where to start. Fine, I guess we’ll work our way down from the top.

  First, this mess got on colored contacts. iHate them with the virility of Weezy’s marching soldiers. People, please let’s give up the colored contacts. Everyone isn’t meant to have hazel and green eyes. The Lord knew what He was doing when He didn’t give us all light-colored eyes. Take your baby browns and rejoice in them. Revel in the fact that when your pupils dilate, people don’t have to know. Just STOP with the colored contacts!

  Then, this fool put jolly ranchers in his braids as beads. *deep sigh* iBlame the parents. I feel like a good solid upbringing would keep one from doing such a thing. Jolly Ranchers + Braids + Beads = EPIC fail ALL around. Nothing about those 3 nouns should have anything to do with a man. For starters, he’s too grown to still be rocking braids. TOO. GROWN. Then, he decided he wanted adornment for said braids. Double WOMP. And for the cherry (rancher), he wove jolly ranchers around each one.

  iCan’t. iWon’t. iRebuke it.

  So someone tell me? Is this your cousin? No really. You can admit. We won’t judge you completely. We may just give your lineage the side-eye. We’re all family here. Well unless that IS your cousin. Then, we may not claim you.

  Whatcha’ll think about homeboy & his sweets?

  P.S. AND he’s biting his lip like he’s segzy?!? LORD… somebody don told HIM wrong!

  P.P.S. Getcho cousin!

   

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